“Confidence is a shell game”.  Most men think they need more and want more: “if only I had more!”  B.S!  If I gave you a truckload of confidence, what would you do with it? And why do so many men want so much confidence? They claim it will really make them ready and able…… Ready and able for what? … to be cool, super-man, really strong, really in control or, finally have what it takes?

“Confidence “is just perfume”. It sprays on, it stays awhile and then goes away. It’s cheap, it’s a mask made of fumes and something we were never really taught what it truly is. Confidence is a symptom. It is the by product or transitional emotional state as a result of accomplishing things. When we accomplish something, we feel more ready and able [confident] to do that thing again. This feeling and state is productive and proactive, and exactly how we breed more progress and accomplishments which is all followed by the confidence feeling.

“Confidence does not come first” This is the big secret and myth. Most men believe with confidence they can do big things. I Coach them to realize that by doing anything first, they will feel able and willing to do another thing and another and then add that feeling of confidence. What’s important here is knowing what we can do, and allowing the momentum of accomplishments to lead us into the next.

Knowing that we have the ability to walk across a long and narrow foot bridge spanning the Grand Canyon…knowing that we can move forward will always win the day over trying to figure out how to be more confident in order to cross over. Start thinking with your feet, and watch your confidence build as you get things done

Paul Bob Velick  /  A Coach In Your Corner