Is our anger ok?….”Hell yes!” Is our anger ok everywhere?…”Hell no!” Choosing between healthy and unhealthy anger is the real balancing act. Some men describe it as productive anger versus unproductive anger. Productive anger fuels our drive to go out and get what we want and need in our world. Counter productive anger damages property, hurts people, wrecks the whole scene and some times puts us in jail.

So how do we have choice when we’re red hot, how can we negotiate our best moves that works in the world around us when we want to blow, or are pissed off as all hell and we’re looking for targets.

  1. Strategic Anger: Understanding the idea of choice means that you can use strategy as a mature man, instead of blowing your top like a little boy in a mans body. Practicing choice build muscle around your anger response and that soon puts you in the drivers seat.
  1. Strategic Moves: Once you get that you can choose, a great move when the hot lava starts to churn inside, is to leave the sceene, period. Go for a walk, call a man you trust, find a place to yell or pound something that hurts no one and no thing including yourself. Practicing men call this productive anger.
  1. Regular Practice: Develop safe and “productive” spots to get mad….. with your buddie on a FunDay, in your car with all windows up, swimming under water, yell, swear, let it out…or just yell at the ocean when you’re alone.


Paul Bob Velick / A Coach In Your Corner